Harry Potter and the Vampires That Sparkled
by writeringfading
Summary: Set in a small town, this thrilling and romantic tale chronicles Bella's adventure, where she meets-and falls for-the mysterious Tom Riddle, but things are complicated when Harry and Ginny arrive in this small Alaskan town. Later, our heroes arrive at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, where they face love, loss, and challenge.
1. Chapter 1

Lawrd Voldemortè made Bella a vampire thru magics n it was a cool story so 'ere it is.

"I'm so relatbale not rlly." saids bella who was sads becuz she was so normal (Mary Sue). She went to the small town of Spoons, Alaska, which was cold and yucky and bad and she hated it (becuz it's just like her own personality). Of course she didnt no her lyfe would cross woth the dashing, Lawrd Voldermortè. He was tall, thin, and BALD. Umm, uhmm, Bella loves a bald guy. Anyways, Bella begins adjusting to life in Spoons when he meets our dashing hero.

"I HATE SPOONS HS," Bella's whiny mind thought as she moped around the school


	2. Bella Meets the Wizard of Her Dreams!

Bella continued to mope around, and made her way through Spoons HS, who's mascot was a talking Fork (OBVIOUS IRONY RITE HERE!) Anyways, she made her way to the chemistry class and was like "Ugh, I hate this because it aint AP chemistry but whatever. . .' The teacher was called Snape and everyone hated him because of his attitude. He ordered bella to sit in third row with Tom Riddle, a balding old man. Bella was immediately drawn to his snake-like face and aloof attitude. Riddle said something vague and Bella gave him a serious look—isnt this story getting interesting?


	3. Science Class

Tom Riddle's hair suddenly grew back and than he appeared young again - - just about bella sue's age. Bella immeidealy falled in love because of his appearance and his voice and his voice and his voice and his voice and his voice. Bella couldn't get over 'im so she went home after school and listend to lots of edgy teen-music, like katy perry. As Bella listened to katy sing about las vegaz, Tom riddle had to stay behind in chem class because the terrible profesor snap hated him so. "I hate you, and because of my dislike of you, we wont have A.p chem. because you would take it and then I would teach you again. Also your magical so you don't even believe in the science. You only beelive in the biology, which isn't the a real science like the chemsity." Prof. Snape snapped with a shout and jump. Then his hair fell out and he to put his wig back on. The school principle, Ms. McGonagal came in, 'and she saw the arugment but didn't want to get involved so she turned into a cat a took an early break.

_**Listen, readers, I don't get how magic and science are beldned here, but this are, so get over it and read**_! _**Back to the story! **_

Anyways there was no ap chem for Fork H.S. and the only ap class they had was AP Living Magical Arts (AKA AP Biology). But tom riddle a math virtuaoso, wanted the ap chem class. Oh well!

Meanwhile Bella was still at home rockin' out to the katy perry album and then her dad, Charlie came in and asked about her day. Bella stomped her feets and said "I HATE MY CAR AND THIS TOWN." But then cried and ate breakfast, even though it was the afternoon.


	4. I will open the Chamber of

Bellar was so sick of Spoons so she told her new BFF Bellatrix about it. Bellatrix was a total goth girl and she hated SpOons to. "Ugh theirs' this guy in my class who is really annoying, his name is Tom and he likes to be called Voldermort (pronounced Vold-a-mor-tay)." This made Bellatrix all sassy because Tom is her ex-boyfriend. "Don't talk to me ever! Avadey kadavery!" But Bella missed Bellatrix's deth spell and Bellatrix and Bella were never friends again.

Meanwhile in class-

"Today we shall learn all about why Voldermorte is annoying- hes mean to bella and he broke up with Bellatrix the best student at Spoons HS!" But this was a lye because Bellatrix has 1.8 GPA so shes a terribel student and the knowlegablle Prof. Snaip noed this!

"Let's move to today's chemistry lesson: Knewton's 1st law of Relatevilty!" Snape then talked on and on about the sciences but Bella and Tom's own chemistry was buildign!

"Do you like the weather?~" Voldamorte questioned with a frown!

"Know, I hate it like everything in this town including yu!" Bella screamed!

"Oh that's cool! I am going to open the Chamber of Silverwear (its like the chamber of secrets) after school? Does u want to go with me!"

"Omg."


	5. AP ENGLISH

The chamber of silverware _**(srry for the mispel in the last chapter!) **_was in the basement of Spoons HS and was home to the evil gigantic Spoon monster wich has the power to turn people to… SILVER! These silver people would be frozen for a few moments before becoming living again and no 1 wants to be a silver person so needles to say the Spoon monserR was feare by many Spoons HS students who didn't want to be silver people but didnt want to get rid of the monster because he was very cool, I mmean who gets to say there is A MONSTER that lives in the basement of YOUR hs. Its very cool to the feareful spoons HS students…. Anyways.

"Something-giberish-scary sounding language!" Said Tom Voldermarte. And bam- a special door opened in thte grand hall of Spoons hs. Bella and Tom open the door and go down some steppers and bam- there in the chamber of the silverwar monster. 

"Don't send him free Tom!" Bella shreeks with scaryedneess!

"Oh ok."

But Tom lied and let the scary monster free!  
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" screams bella who feels terrible!

She fantes and Ginny Weasley appears and Ginny kills the spoon monster…..

Ginny had no choice, she had to report Voledermante's actions to the school principel, Prof. Magonagall. 

Magongala's office-

"You opened the chamber and scared everyone!" She said. Then she turned into a dog and bit the evil student. Then back to human.

"You will get an F in AP English this semester! Here at Spoons, we measure academic progress WITH discoplanary actions!"

But Tom Volcermatrte were not sad because he hated Eng. and it wasn't a grad requirement.

Bella went home after her class and couldnt get ovr tom's cool bad boy attitude and she decided she should date him and they should revive the spoons monster! Their was only 1 thing for bella to do. Listen to some heavy metal rock. Bella slipped her Madonna vinyl on the record player. Isn't she such a hipster!111?


	6. The Sorting Hat

It's a new semester, and that means that everyone who are seniors will be sorted in the Houses!  
There are four houses

Grfyindoor- Popular and cool kids!

Ravenclaw; NERDS! *

Slytherin- Means (and the plastics)

Hufflepuff- Nice kids… (Shrugs)

*_**See how I used a semy-colon like a smart ravenclaw would!? **_

All the sorting is done by a mysterious hat with the voice of Miley Cyrus (the old hat from the movies retired, y'all. : ( )

Its Bella's turn to be sorted and she puts the magical-Cyrus hat on… "What!? This aint even a person who can be sorted! So I guess it's random then- hfullepuff it;ll be!"

Not a bad choice id say but im just the narrator of course! !

Of course Tom was put in Syltherin cuz he loves snakes and is a total meany and stuff. . . Ginny was put in Gryfindor because that's the movie says

But a new kid was in town- Harry Potter! Now who shall capture Bellas romance, harry or tom voldermoatre!? Find out by keep reading!

"Hi im Harry!" Harry said.

"I is Bellar. I'm a really interesting person because I hate this town!"

"How do that makes you interesting?"

"Who ARE you?"

"Harry Potter!"

"TEOtjewqith439ith34itreigjdgtjewtiwoerjewifiewngiwetewqtpaowqeyqewotjeqw."

Bella had a nervous breaddown because had a total crush on this Harry dude but she also loves tom so she couldn't handle it…. _**(SEE READER I'M ADDING EMOTIONAL DEPTH!) **_

Bella drived home because she just couldn't handle the tears of loving two people at once and so she went home and told Charlie who asked stuff. "I thoughted you liked bald guys!" he saided to her.

"I dunno dad I just doont noooooO!" She emphazied the last part to be espesically dramatic.

Harry had just broken up with Ginny because Harry wanted someone who was magical like 'em so bella, in bella's head, was a perfect math. So bella wrote about in dairy:

"Dear Dairy,

I hope that at least harry or tom will be my bf 'cause i really wants a bf and i is so lonely. Sad face."


	7. Voldermort Reads!

Bella was at home watching the best movie ever The Phantom Menace. "Goshhh, I cant ebelive people like those old star wars movies, theres not even CGI!" Bella thinked while she watch the masterpeace. "Goshh if only older Anakin was in it than it would totally perfect!" she also thinked. She was so mmads that people would chose to watch the awful old movies. Movies from be4 2003 bothered her cauuse their old.

Across town Tom was reading a book but he hated reading so he didnt like it all that much….. AND THEN HE DIED….. PLOT TWIST RIGHT?! 


	8. Voldermort's Funeral

Prof. Snap had killed tom cuas he gived him a book to read that had kill-power and so tom was dead…..

Funeral-

"Tom wil be msised by all but this twon must carrie on and we will" said Hurmymonie, the towns most important magic perrson.

After her speach it rayned and it rained which emad the whole thing sads : (

Harry was they're and so was Bella and they were now dating becuz tom was dead. The romance was beuaitufl.

" I loves your averageness" harry tolded her

"I loves myself to!" Bellar replieded.

Meanwhiles Ginny is sad becuz harry broke up wit her for the charming (boring) bella. True love is wonderful…..

Prof. snape had eskped and no 1 one new he was the killer except tomm….. BEECAUSE TOM WASN"T DEAD FOR REASL!


	9. Toms plain and the flashbak

Caus Tum wasnt realey dead like everyone thoughted, he decieded to get into hiding so he have his revenage against the mysteriousfull Proff. Snap. He went deep into the champer of silverwear and reveived the SPOON MONSTER! (GASP). What will the school do now?!

_**BACK STORY TIME! A ROUND 17 YEARS BEEFOR CHAP I… THIS BACKSTORY IS RLLY SUERIOUS SO BE PREPAPRERED!**_

Lily Potter n' James Potter are gonna break up cause it just aint workin for the 2 of emm. Theyre isn't lov between them n' thay hayte each other now….. BECAUSE LILY LOVERS SOMEONE ELSE! ! !

"I'm in love with_" saided Lily. _**Readers, I aint letting u no whom bcause that would ruined the mistery of the plott **_

"Omg." Saeys james

So they broked up : (

But as they was dividing up there magec stuffs …. A MONSTUR ENTEREDED IN AND THEY DIED BECUS OF IT! ! ! ! ! ! Lucily baby harry esacpeded caase othr mageic pepoe came to saved him.

_**FLASHBACK OVER **_

After Toms foe funurol hary and bela went on date! ! ! ! ! !1 1 *Heart emtocion*


	10. She's Dead

Its the dark and storeme nite and bellar has dated harry and thay is in in lov and iz cut romantic ovlely good story and yay! Ship it plz readers it would means lots to mean if ya shipped plz oh go.d

"I lov u ' says bell

" I don't love myself " saes harry

_See the emoshional deptha readers!1111_

Meen while in the chamber of silverwear tom riddl was re-making the sppoon mosterrera so he was liviedng agagin ! Yay! Oh wait, not yay cuz spooner mostster turn the students to selver ! ! !

"Dark spel!" shouteded ridel and the sppon monstrer came to life—and killed Jennyyy!  
"I is ded!" she said as dead.

'Maywahahahah' evil laughed the dark lord tum rielddle

To be contenued… . . .


	11. TRAINS

but jeandie wasnt relaly dead, nop3. she said ' I deaded ' cuse she done want to dstiract tom wridlle. Asnd as she did that the prof. Snapple rushed and that done scareded teh spoon monstre !

'Eek' screamed the Spoun monstre. Thom Rwridle got a alf-hower of dentention for that 1!11!

**Cut to afterschool in the Spoons parkeing loat. **

Bellar is listening to ke$ha outside her magicala hummer SUV (she dont kare about no glowbowl warning). Beliar is rlly loving ke$h 's dance-pop #s, so she be strolin the parking lot without lookin' round cuz she be epexcinting people wathc for tha pedestrians. But she done thoughten rong! "They're aint no way som1 will hit me wid there car!" bella thinkers. BUT THEN A TRAIN COMES INTO THE PARKING LOT ! ! ! Itz bout to hit bellair ! ~! ! oh no! ! ! ! she looks at it awkwardkinly and is like "Zomg wahtathahahht!" Shes gonna get smuushe**d!~ NOOO)OOOO READERS OMG1111!~ **but out the nowear Tomr WRidkeor comes stoahpers the trane be4 it canned smoosh Belair ! ! ! ! He sayved her liefe! !

**TO BE CONTINUEED !IOPRJKEwtke**


	12. Hogwarts

Bellaor got a letter – goonnanna to hogwarte's maigic schoele! Whare shel get to the learn of the magicailal in herself and its gonna b great. But haryy, and Tom Writeirdl, and all the other people got into and Prof. Snapple-Snap is gonna be their chem teacher thaer! How exeitcitng!


	13. Witch Craft and Wizarding

Iz the last day of school and Belilar has done broeken up wiht eeverybdoy- tom ridler voldamoart and harry ! She's looking over her final HS transkripct (all Cs czu shes avaergage and relatable) and the letter arrives. Its' from hogwarts' school of which kraft and wizarding. Shes been acceptaed! ! The paper which has a cool fancy font sayes "clases start aug 32nd"

Iz the last day of scool and harry is lookin over his tranzcripter (al Az cuz he be a nerd) and then the Hogwarts letter showz up on hid doorstep and it say "LOL WHEN U GET HERE U MITE GET IN2 SLYETHEINR!" Oh no thinks harry! hes a hufflerpuff at haert. all this angsighety makez harys' skar herat badd! "OWEE" he says and slaps a band aid on it even tho it aint bleedin

TO BE CONTINUED


	14. A Never-Ending Sadness

NOTIC

It is time HOGWERTZ MY RADERSAD!

If uve rrad this thiz long thank u I had no idea tahtmy writi would never be ever be emebraced. !

END NOTIISE

Hermonie is so smart. She is on the trainer to hogwatz and is readying her boo k and harry is setting wit her and they r sad. GINNY HAS DIED : (

Ginny was at the train station in the country of London and she waz gone due that tanh wherz the amgaical poe3ple wallk int2 the blrick! BUT SHE RAN INTO THE RONG OHNE AND DEAD!

CUT TO BELLARS PERPECTIVE

Bellar was sup sads tody. U see, it was the sorting hat day and they gafe grfriendoor, the most generaic one! She cry 'n cry and it is to sad to talk about ! ! !?#?$#$#

Meenwile, Snap was drinking snapple, his favorighte drink to drink to drink, and they gave him a leter sayin that he was not gon teach the defense against the durk rtz klas this; year. So him cry 2 and it was so sad much sad much! tehy g v him frist yea3r poritions the ckals taht he had been teahing sinc that one day long time go.


	15. Hogwarts Day One

Magik potions ckals. No one at the Horgawarts like it ad teh teacher , pfo snaplele don't want to teach it. It was teh first day, and Harry and Hermyonee went in. They sat together while Snape srated his speech - "I can teacher you the ways of potions. I can show tyou all the ways to make the potions which good for health and stopper death." Harry started doodling over his notebook a picture of a unicorn-computer hybrid living kreatuera, and snape saw this and said "I heiagght CELEBRITY ARTWORK" and rip rip rip ripped up in fron the whole class!

"Why do u what u do, Snapel?" Hary asked?

Snaple began to laugh. "H,a hahaha" he chucked.

Then the leson continued, where the Snape sohwed the class how to use the feathers of a snake to make a potion that kills people who know how to talk to snakes(!)

Malofaoy was also there, and he said, "Drink dis, Harry" and Harry saids

"NOOOO"

Meanwhile in transifnriguatins lcass

"Today, we will learn how to make penguins into wands." McGanaganl  
"But that's animal kruelty" yelled Luanr Louvagood!

"Anomals are terrible" Screamed Mcagangal

"You're not the real Mcanganal!" screamed out Ron!  
and then the imposters face melted off and it was actually SAALZAR SLITHERN!

"Ahhhhhh" the students screamed and screamed.

Who suriviedd?!

Meanwhile on the third floor.

Bella was walking to charms when she saw a note on the wall in glitter – "The chamber of house elves has been opened. Prepare for the reebalian."


	16. Whom are the teachers this year?

Ginni's ghost is scared ! She wanders the halls searching for Malfoy- her's one true luve! But she never fnd he becau DUMBDEROLR don't ship it! He shipz GINNI WITH NO ONE!

Meanwhile…

Ron is a comma following his confrontation with SALZAR SLIYHERIN! And Luna Loveirgood is suspected of his comma state!  
"You will be not a magic person no more," announced the new minister of magicals, Servence Snaple.

"But ur a liberal ruepublic independent democract" fawt back lunar! 

Meanwhile…

Bella was seeing the glitter writing abot the houseelf rebealrion, and was getting little scared straight cuz its some scary stuff in tha times like tehis.

She runs all around the hogwarters and finds DUMBEROLDROS office, but when she gets there, he's in a dirty robe and screams: "U SHALL NOT PASS," and then they fall to in these chamber and have fight to the daeath.

"u not dumberolore, u that guy from the **hobit **documetantaries!" bella screasm!

"Wear is the re3l dumbedore, yo?" she questions?

Then, the faker melts away into a pool of SNAPEL (trademarked).

"This is weird."

Meanwhile in Charmers class,

The short little man who is not tall at all who is known as Fliterwciks is giving a lesson:  
"WIN-GARDEM-LEVY-ASA is the spell that defeats demenatorearas!" announces teacher.

THEN HE BRINGS IN A WHOLE BUNCH OF DEMANTERAREOS AS 'TEST" and one student he scream "U NOT FLITWICK!"


	17. Chapter 17

It was potitions class witch was everyonebodys' fav class of the whole day! ! !

"They'll be no wand using or silly rhymers in this class! I don't expecters much of u to apeciate the suttle chemisty of potion maikin, but oh well! I'm prof. Snaip. A BILLIONMILLION HOUSE POYNTS FROM GRYFINDRO!" said prof Snapple.

"What is the most beautiful thing in the world, Prof. Sanple?" asked Harry Porter.

"YUH MUM'S EYES LOL."

"BURN!" Said Drokoa Molfay

"Today we'll be mixing the poleeyjuice poeshin, witch is now ok for students to use!"

"But whom will we gonna look much like prof snaple." Asked Nevilele Longbottom

"Ugh, get out me site!"

The students wented about doing there mixtiatons and then herminonie finished aerly cuz she cool like dat. ! Hhur look changerd into…NOTHING. She didn't change. Harry finished his, and he drank it, but it didn't work.

"Foolish students, none of you added the hairs. It would b3 n sty to drink somebodies hair so I didn't get any. Dis powetion sucks! HAHAHAH I SABOTAGE ALL!"


End file.
